When we got to the hospital and checked in with “Same Day Surgery” they gave me a mask to put on Ryan (who was already in the middle of a meltdown from not feeling well). As you can see he really wasn’t feeling to great or happy with the days events so far (note the little tear).
We were sent to the very last bed in the unit as far away from everyone as they could get us. After a lot of waiting a nurse came to take his temperature (no temp in his arm pit but a slight one via his ear). Off she went to get someone else. An anesthesiologist resident came to see him…she asked TONS of questions and listened to every square inch of his chest/back. Thankfully he had fallen asleep in my arms by then and was quiet so she was able to get a good listen to his lungs and chest. After she left, we were alone for a while when another nurse came to see us with yet more questions. SHE then left and a little while later someone came to take us to the OR but we still didn’t know if they were going to go ahead with it. The head of anesthesia had to check him out as well as the doctor doing the surgery. I mean really can nothing just go easy for Ryan…I was so frustrated for him. Eventually both the doctor and head of anesthesia came to see us and conferred with the resident and nurse. It was decided that they would go ahead as planned! YEAH! So I suited up in my hair cap thingy and the full zip up body suit so that I could carry him into the OR and stay with him while they gassed him. After a quick kiss and a few tears they dragged me away from him. Anyone who has been through the ear tube surgery thing knows that it’s a very quick procedure. I was in the waiting room for about 20 minutes when the doctor came to tell me that everything went well and that they had to get a lot of wax out before they could even get to his ear drums…poor guy. When the cut into his drums a lot of thick fluid came flowing out. It’s a wonder Ryan could hear at all! Not long after, Ryan’s ophthalmologist came to the waiting room as well. Sorry I should back up a bit. At Ryan’s last eye appointment, the doctor said he would like to take a good look at Ryan’s eyes when he comes in for his tube surgery since he’ll be sedated. He gave me some drops to put in his eyes so they would be dilated for the surgery the next day. So the doctor came to see me shortly after the ENT doctor did and said that Ryan’s optic nerves are as expected (still about 50%-60% of the size they should be) but that the good news was that while he is far sighted it’s not bad enough to require glasses (they are only about a +2 or +2.5). LOVE getting good news! Eventually a nurse came to take me to Ryan. Before I even got to the recovery room I could hear him screaming. When I came around a corner I saw a couple of nurses wrestling with him and his IV. They lowered his bed and told me I could climb up and cuddle with him. I could tell just by holding him that he was in a whole lot of pain and very stressed out (never mind that his piercing screams told me that already). They said he had a big dose of Tylenol but after some time it was obvious he wasn’t able to settle so they gave him a bit of Gravol. Some time had gone by and he was still writhing and screaming. It was getting difficult to hold him. They decided to try a touch of morphine and after a little bit and a whole lot of bouncing and shushing from me he did eventually settle and even managed to sleep for a bit. Off to the next recovery phase/room we went where he was allowed to have a bottle and another sleep.
Jeff had come to pick us up by then (and brought me a yummy sandwich!) and whisked us back home where we got Ryan all nice and cozy in his sleeping bag and crib.
Today is now Saturday. Ryan’s eyes were dilated with the drops on Wednesday and his pupils are STILL dilated. We're a bit worried as it's been 70 hours now. Telehealth wasn’t able to help me so if by tomorrow morning they are still dilated we’ll be heading to the ER.
A little off topic note with this post. Tonight in the bath Quin kept trying to put one of her little toys in Ryan’s hand. As always when anyone touch’s or holds Ryan’s hands or arms he instantly snaps his hand away. It’s a major sensory issue with him. Quin kept looking at me when it happened and had this sad, confused little look on her face coupled with that funny, confused little laugh that kids and even adults do when they are unsure of something. I do my best not to cry in front of the kids but this just sent me over the edge especially since it has been such a stressful day (also “afternoon shift” aka I’m on my own for 8 nights in a row). I gave Quin a big hug and told her Ryan’s hands were just a little sore and tried to get Ryan to cooperate so she’d feel better. He wanted nothing to do with having anything in his hand so I just let him be and distracted Quin with something else. She is one very tuned in kid when it comes to people’s emotions etc… I’m sure a lot of kids are like that or maybe even all kids but whatever the case I’m glad she’s the way she is and I hope it continues. She’s got a big heart and that’s going to be so important as her relationship with Ryan grows as they get older. A long time ago not long after all of this began I tried explaining to Quin what was going on with Ryan. She was just a little over 2 years old and obviously not able to grasp the magnitude of what was happening so I tried explaining in a way that she might understand. I simply said to her that Ryan’s eyes were broken and he couldn’t see as well as she could. Her sweet and simple response was “Mommy fix it”. Like I said I try not to cry in front of the kids but that just did it. I hugged her so tight while I was sobbing and didn’t say anything…I mean what COULD I say. This is just something Mommy can’t fix. But man oh man we’re all doing everything in our power to make it as easy a situation as we can for both of them.
I don’t want to end this post on a bad or sad note so here’s some “good” news. In the last couple of days since Ryan’s surgery he has seemed much more alert and aware of what is going on around him. When he’s not crying from discomfort from his cold, teeth or ears he’s really been quite happy. It’s almost as if he’s feeling re-born. What I wouldn’t give to be inside his head, obviously to know what he can see and feel but to know what his hearing was like before the surgery and how things are for him now. We’ll just go with what we see on the outside and it all seems to be pretty darn good according to him!
Happy Easter everyone!
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